Honesty Hour: Current State of Affairs

My whole goal with these honesty hours & my blog in general is to be real & share the current state of my life. To bring real life–the good, bad, and ugly–to the Internet. I feel like it can really be a highlight reel and there’s nothing necessarily wrong with that. At times it can be refreshing, inspiring and pretty to look at, but I think so often we can forget that it is a highlight reel.

So I wanted to pull back the curtain in some ways and just be honest with the things that I share. To share the pretty parts but also share some of the behind the scenes/real life moments that don’t always get shared on social media.  

That DIY Gratitude Jar blog post?

It would’ve been really pretty if I said that it went so well with my fam and we were more grateful and positive and we still do it to this day. But the truth was what I put in there. It wasn’t always easy to get them to do it and gratitude/positivity wasn’t abundant and still isn’t after that practice. Oh, and we definitely don’t still do it. But just because it didn’t work for my family doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be great for yours so I shared the idea anyway. I believe in the practice of gratitude and I practice it, just differently now, so I shared it.

Last Christmas’ blog post?

Would’ve been cuter if I said that I shed a few pretty tears over one of my gifts. The reality is that I pretty much burst into tears as soon as I realized what it was. And I am not a pretty crier.

A Quilt Project From the Heart?

Would’ve loved to not share that I made a big mistake. (Would’ve loved to not have made the big mistake too. Haha!) And that I had to practically take the entire quilt apart & re-sew it. But I did & I felt that was important to share too so you didn’t think that project was smooth sailing the entire way through because it was not. Did I enjoy it? Yes. Was it from the heart? Yes. Were there plenty of bumps in the road? 100%.

I want to be real with y’all and show the reality of things because it isn’t always pretty.

The Current State of Affairs

I want to write these honesty hours because I know y’all love them and I do too. I want to write more of them. But right now, coming up with a topic is not easy because a lot of the things I could write about, I don’t really want to throw all over the Internet just yet. I’m still in the thick of it and it can be difficult to share those things when it’s still happening. I’m sure I’ll write full honesty hours on the topics for the blog later but right now I’m just not fully ready.

Let me touch on things:

In full transparency, some days, the motivation to do things and check things off my list is harder than others because in general it feels like I’m not really getting anywhere. It feels like there’s no progress. It feels like everything isn’t clicking together just yet. Some days, I feel like I’m riding (and some days driving) the struggle bus just about every. single. day.

Some days, things click and the creativity & motivation & energy is fully present and I am ready and wanting to tackle all the things.

It’s an up & down thing, almost like a really hilly road, if I’m being totally honest. Some days I’m filled with so much hope and I know everything is going to work out beautifully. I’m ready to tackle everything and have renewed energy to dive into projects. Others, I wonder if the work is worth it, if it’s getting me anywhere. I wonder if I’ll always be right where I’m at and I’m wondering when & if anything will change.

I have hope. Things will start clicking together, the constant hilly road will give way, I’ll move out of this space and into a new one. I’ll get there. This is just a season of my life but I wanted to share that it isn’t all butterflies and rainbows.

So that’s my honesty hour for today.

The current state of affairs for my life right now. Most of the goals that I have right now are not easy & are taking their sweet time. And some days it’s difficult to keep working and stay consistent when it feels like you’re getting nowhere.

And that’s one of the things I’m feeling right now.

Like I’m stuck in mud. With almost everything.

I say almost because yoga and the current 30 day challenge that I’m almost done with has been going pretty dang well. I feel like I’m kinda thriving there. Haha!

Anyway…there are things that I want to happen and I’m working to make happen but nothing’s happening and I don’t know how to actually make it happen. Does that make sense? Like if there are 10 steps to reach a goal. I am at steps 4-5 and I have been stuck there for a very long time (or so it feels).

So that’s me being honest right now. There’s my honesty hour: I’m on the struggle bus and I’m stuck in the mud. It’s fun times over here, y’all. Fun times.

And I’m not looking for a pep talk or pity or anything. I’m just sharing the current state of things so that way if you’re in the same space, then you know that you’re not alone.

A Little Reminder:

I always want things that I write to end on an uplifting and/or happy note. But I think if I did that with this blog post, it’d be a weird thing to do and in some ways disingenuous or insincere. I’ll leave you with this instead:

You’ve just read where I’m at right now and how things aren’t necessarily all sunshine and rainbows and pressing publish on this has me feeling fairly nervous. But I’m doing it anyway just in case you’ve been caught up in the lie that everybody’s life is all fantastic on social media. Just remember: it’s a highlight reel for a lot of people, including me sometimes, but this is your reminder of what real life is like. For me and probably for a lot of others too. ❤

Love,